The balancing act of a Work at Home Mom

The last couple years have been full of change to say the least. I've gone from full time freelancer to part time employee/freelancer to working two office jobs to working one office job to working one office job from home.

Add to that, getting married, getting pregnant, being a mom and moving to a few different houses along the way and you've got yourself two crazy busy years!

I knew that having a baby would be a huge adjustment in a lot of ways, particularly as a mom who works. We decided before Gabe was born that childcare (at least in a full-time setting) just wasn't what we wanted to do for our family, so I became a work at home mom. (Well first, I was actually a bring the baby to work mom, but I'll talk about that more in a minute).

It's a blessing to be able to do both. And it's crazy beyond anything I ever thought. There are many musings I could throw out on being a work at home mom, like how to balance work and family life, how to make a schedule, how to breath while doing everything. Truth is, I'm still figuring all that out, and have a feeling I will be doing that for a long, long time. (Hey, life's a journey, right?!)

Before the year even started I knew that this would be something I would be learning/struggling with in 2014. That's why "courage" is my word of the year (More on that HERE). You may be thinking...courage is what you think you need to adjust your schedule 100 times a year? Yes, for a control freak who has anxiety issues galore, courage is just what the doctor ordered.

Anyway, this blog is not to talk about courage, but rather, to share a little about the zany work-at-home mom life. My son just turned 8 months old, and some days we are rocking life together and others are oh. so. rocky. Here's a glimpse of how my "schedule" has evolved over the last 8 months:

Gabe is born 2/23/14 in a whirlwind of an event at almost midnight. I recover, enjoy my baby and e-mail my coworkers from my phone. "Hey, I'm not coming in this week because I had a baby!"

Month 1: I check in with work here and there and do some social media updating, but mostly I adjust to mom life, nurse that baby 400 times a day and binge watch all three seasons of Scandal. Oh. My.

Month 2: It's time to be "normal" again I decide. Gabe's healthy. I'm healthy. Let's go back to work. I somehow think it'll be easier to work in an office, so from 9-12 or 1 every day I load up my boy and head to the office. I put that little rugrat on a pillow on my boob and type away. He gets tired of that, and we bounce around the office, walk outside so he doesn't disturb the peace, get him to sleep. Finally! But only on my lap. I muster up a solid hour of productivity in and then surprise, Gabe is ready to be awake again and it's only 10:30.

Month 3: I learn what a Moby wrap is, so all the same stuff as the month 2, but we have slightly more napping success.

Month 4: Surprise! Gabe doesn't JUST want to eat or sleep anymore. And when he does sleep and eat it's not always between 9-12 every morning. And, if he does eat between 9-12 he doesn't do it without a lot of wiggling around. I must be quiet. VERY quiet and still and dark and MAYBE he'll focus long enough then. Maybe. I cut back days going in the office. I switch up hours to afternoons. I cry and decide I just can't do it anymore and it's time to be poor!

Month 5: My coworkers understand and let me become a Work at Home Mom! Everything will be sunshine and butterflies now.

The REAL Month 5-7 (A Day in the Life):
6 a.m.: I attempt to wake up around now to have those few quiet moments before Gabe wakes up, put on clothes, collect my thoughts, pray. I fail 75% of the time on this.

8 a.m.: Gabe wakes up for real this time and usually that signals me to get a move on. I scramble for clothes for me and a clean diaper for Gabe. I put him in the living room with some entertainment and locate coffee. I attempt a morning devotional while chasing Gabe around the room, feeding the dog and eating breakfast. I definitely don't finish my coffee.

9 a.m.: Check in the work world (read e-mails, update social media). Go for a walk/run with the little one OR don't. One of those.

10 a.m.: Come home. Sometimes he's fallen asleep on the walk and I sing praises and quietly attempt the stroller to bed transfer. Usually that doesn't go down, so instead I put him in a highchair or johnny jumper and shower quickly while singing and peeking my head out to keep him calm for just. five. minutes.

11 a.m.: Maybe Gabe's ready for a nap around now. He's rubbing his eyes and whining about everything. I feed him. Bounce him. Try to reason with him. Repeat that a few times and BAM he's out! If I haven't fallen asleep trying to settle Gabe down, I reheat my cup of coffee and work for some amount of time. Sometimes it's hours, usually much less.

12/1 p.m.: Gabe wakes up and eats. Joseph comes home for lunch and I make us some food.

1 p.m.: Joseph's gone. Gabe's wide open. We play and all that stuff for the next few hours. Inside/outside. Sometimes we run some errands, etc.

3-4ish: Nap time again! Usually we both fall asleep here but also it sometimes serves as a window for more work done and coffee reheat #3.

5:30 p.m.: Gabe's up! Dad's home! I start dinner.

6/7 p.m.: We all eat and hang out and do our family thing.

7-9 p.m.: Helloooooo, grumpy-o'clock. This is the two-hour stretch of "I want to go to sleep but I will fight it for the next two hours." Baths happen here. Stories sometimes go down. Joseph and I tag team chasing the baby around while I squeeze in a little work and he draws. And at last, bed time for the baby.

9 p.m.: Sometimes, more coffee happens here. I finally have a stretch of time to work. And usually, I capitalize on it, at least for a couple hours. I also write and work on blogs here when I don't have tons of work left to do or managed to get somethings done during the day.

12-2 a.m.: I decide I should go to bed too, so I don't fail at that 6 a.m. wake up thing.

3 a.m.: Gabe wants to wake up too!

5 a.m.: Definitely Gabe wants to eat.

6 a.m. No, definitely, no. I stayed up way too late.

And that's sorta how my day goes. To sum up, I work when I can. I try to pray and exercise, feed my family and take time to do my personal creative projects all while being an awesome, available wife, mom and employee.

Some days are better than others.

It takes courage for all moms to do what they do, however they do it. To all you work-at-home moms, here's me telling you, telling us, to cut ourselves a little slack. You can't be good at everything every single day, so relax. Do what you can. It will all get done eventually. It always does. Breath. Cry a little. Hug that baby. And have the courage to do it all again the next day!

Happy Mommying!

XOXO-Holli

Wait what?! A Blog Post is Here!

I think it's safe to say our little family had better intentions for this blog when we started it. We still have good intentions, but I guess without actions those don't mean a whole lot, huh?

What are our intentions? Well, at minimum, it'd be nice to keep people updated on our family (you know, you guys who love us and aren't around everyday for our world). We'd love to do videos and family posts and also tell you about our creative projects, our fun home projects and even the cool food we sometimes get to eat (thanks to new recipes and such).

I could give you 100 reasons WHY we don't update our blog regularly: we are busy parents, Joseph works full time, I am a work from home mom (meaning I get my work done around midnight every night), Joseph's working hard on his illustration goals AND he's in a band. I'm writing a book and co-running a blog.

The truth is, everyone in the world is busy, so instead, I'll just say this. Here we are! We're happy, healthy, growing, thriving and just having a plain ole' good time!

Here's a bit of a recap.

4 Month Old Gabe:

I made the best purchase I've ever made: This cowboy hat!

Gabe spent a lot of time in this chair, chillin', watching me do activities. Man, the house was so clean all the time when he was 4 months old because he LOVED this so much!

5 Month Old Gabe:

First family vacation to D.C. and back. Gabe hit many milestones on that trip: learning to roll over, sleeping through the night the first AND last time. Oh, the days.

6 Month Old Gabe:

He doesn't just roll over. He crawls and crawls and crawls! The house is no longer clean and getting "work done," well that's just a cute concept of old. Oh, and two teeth emerge!

7 Month Old Gabe:

He tries to talk and tries to walk! 

I've loved every stage but this one, this is my favorite! I'm sure they'll all just keep getting better and better!

And currently for the family:

Dad is drawing like a pro! Check out his #inktober drawings, where he's doing an ink drawing a day for the month of October.

Mom is loving her jobs and starting to work seriously on her book once again. More on that later!

Fall inspires this family!

XOXO-The Melancons

Dear Gabriel {2 & 3 months}

Dear Gabriel,

First of all, sorry for combining your two and three month letters into one. As you will learn through the years, I get a little behind on projects like these sometimes.

Your life has changed so much in the last two months, and it’s been so fun getting to know you a little more every day. I think you’re having fun, too, because you’re starting to smile! This was the first time I captured one of your heart-melting grins on camera. 

That gorgeous grin has only gotten much bigger. A lot of mornings you wake up with a big smile on your face and it is the best way I could ever imagine waking up. A few mornings ago, you woke up at 4 a.m. not for your usual snack but just to grin for an hour. Your dad and I laughed a lot about that, though, it’d be nice if you did that a tad later, little one!

In the last two months, you have grown so much you look like a whole new baby! I’ve had to shuffle through your clothes so many times already. (and yes, it made me sad!) You’re definitely over 12 pounds now.

So here’s some of what you’ve been up to these last two months:

You had your first bath in the tub! You had a really pesky umbilical cord that took a whole month to fall off, so that’s why we had to wait. Don’t worry, we washed you off before that…but you don’t get into too much that makes you really “dirty.” You have mixed feelings on baths, it seems, but I think you’re growing into them more.

I also started going back to work this month, and you get to come along. You’re the star of the office, for sure! It’s a huge blessing that I work somewhere that I get to take you, but it doesn’t come without some challenges for both of us. Turns out you don’t always want to work in the hours I go to the office.

Luckily, you tried the Moby wrap and like it, so I can wear you around from time to time and keep you close to me. I also use it as a trick to get you to fall asleep when nothing else works. It works every time. 

You were Baptized on Palm Sunday at Holy Family. Your godparents (Nanan and Paran) Becca and Mike (and little baby Vera Grace in Becca’s belly) came all the way from D.C. to experience this with you. You also had your first party in your honor, complete with a photo booth!

Becca was nice enough to take some family photos of us at our house before she left.

This month we went on your first lengthy out of town trip to meet your Uncles Chris and Phillip and your Aunt Lauren and cousins Trenton and Lincoln (and for mom and dad to eat crawfish!) You were a great traveler!

You also met Uncle Sean, Aunt Lynn and our good friend Dominic. And, you had plenty of visitors here this month, too! Our friends  Chelsea, Travis, None Mae and Eden Claire; Greg, David and Andrew; and your Aunt Jade and Uncle Reuben. Everyone loved you!

You are really starting to engage with the world and just enjoy learning about it. Some of your favorite things are just hanging out with me while I cook dinner or fold laundry. My goodness, you really get into laundry, and I’m hopeful when you’re the age to fold clothes you’ll still enjoy it!

You don’t quite grab toys and play with them yet, but you love when we shake your rattle for you. You like playing on your activity mat pretty well if I put you down in the right mood. Mostly, you really love when we talk to you, sing to you and tickle you!

Probably the place you love to be most is outside! You do like car rides, but nothing gets you as calm as a stroller ride, which is good because mom likes walking and running! I put you down on a blanket in the grass the other day and you really loved that, so maybe some summer picnics are in our future. And, you were pretty happy watching your dad play music with Alli & Jon, too :)

You love outside so much, I even have started rocking you to sleep in your bassinet outside to coerce you to take naps. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out as you get older.

You’re a busy baby who seems to like being on the go, so that’s handy for us all.

You really are happy most of the time. In the evenings, though, you get really tired and cranky. We call this time grumpy o’clock. We do our best to keep you calm until you get to bed.

Oh yeah, and you did your first art project for your grandmas...you weren't super thrilled.

What your parents are feeling:

We are incredibly happy! It’s amazing how quickly a day goes by with you and how rewarding it is to see you smile, even on the hardest days we have.

We’re all still adjusting to this whole parent venture and to working and parenting, and it has definitely been challenging and tested me in so many ways! You, Dad and Charley are my heart.

I always knew I wanted to be a mother, but I never imagined how incredible it would be until these last two months, and it was so wonderful to celebrate my first Mother's Day with you! Here's the sweet present your dad made me.

Love, Mom

P.S. Here's you dressed up for a golf tournament for my work. You were the star of the Country Club, for sure! 

P.S.S. Here's what happens when you play with a five-year-old :)

Lately...

Our little family has been pretty active these days! Sweet Gabriel is 2 and a 1/2 months AND weighs 11 pounds. He's becoming more and more alert everyday (except today he's napping like a champ, which is why I have time to write this blog :)

We owe you lots of pictures, and we promise to post them soon, soon, soon!

In the meantime, I wanted to share with you some of what I've been up to. I blog for Almost There (a beautiful corner of the Internet that you should visit), and I've been sharing things going on in our family there lately.

First, I've been really trying to help our family get healthier. Not lose weight (though it'd be swell if some of Gabe's aftermath fell right off, huh?!). Just be healthy all around...no more chemicals, no more things that cause us allergies, no more garbage. Here's a blog about that if you wanna know more.

Also, I posted a little about Gabe's Baptism event and the photo booth we had at his party here. Check out this picture of him looking super solemn.

AND finally, here's a recap of my life since Gabe's been out of the womb, complete with a sneak peek of some family photos I will post stat.

Hope you enjoy!

-Holli

Dear Gabriel {1 month}

Gabe is actually almost 5 weeks as of Sunday, but hey, having a newborn is busy! I hope to give a little update of Gabe's world once a month in the form of a letter to him and make it into a booklet for when he gets older. Here's edition one of Dear Gabriel.

Dear Gabriel,

It’s hard to believe you are already more than a month old. This was the fastest month of my life! (And probably a sign that I finally understand what “old people” say when they talk about how fast the time flies!)

The first month of parenting has been a rollercoaster of new emotions for me and your dad, for sure! (Mostly I’m the one who rollercoasters!) Here’s some of the things that have happened since your birthday:

Physically:

You were born 6 pounds, 9 ounces and 19.5 inches long. You left the hospital 6 pounds, 4 ounces.

At your first doctor’s visit, you hadn't really gained any weight, which worried the doctor a lot. She thought you had jaundice and caused me a lot of unnecessary worry by telling me all the long-term damage it could cause if it got serious. (It wasn't serious!) You were just fine (like your mom and dad who were also both jaundice babies), and now you weigh 8.75 pounds! It’s no surprise, little man…you are a very good and eager eater!

You are also 20.5 inches long now and looking more like a big baby every day!

You are also getting stronger everyday. You are getting better at lifting your head, though you can’t quite control it yet. You head butt your dad and me a lot when we hold you close to us…or maybe you are doing that head butting thing on purpose? Hmm…

Your eyes are still blue. You still have a full head of hair but are losing some of it off the top. Your fingernails are destroying me! Your cheeks and belly are plumping up perfectly!

And, probably my favorite thing is how expressive you are getting. You make some killer faces, but your dad and I are pretty partial to your Blue Steel face from Zoolander (hopefully you’ll like this reference one day). We call it Poop Steel!

Things going on this month:

Much of our time has been us all getting to know each other, and that gets easier for our little family every day. You spend most of your days eating…it’s definitely your favorite activity! (Which was pretty hard for mom to get used to but now we've both gotten better at breastfeeding, so it’s easy breezy for us).

You are pretty alert for a newborn, and while you do drift off to sleep at random times throughout the day (particularly in the car), you sometimes are awake almost for an entire day. So I try to engage you in my daily routine, read you books, sing you songs and let you practice moving around. You also have a fun mobile dad made you that you enjoy looking at.

The first two weeks dad stayed home with us, which was great. I was really nervous about being able to take care of you all day, but sure enough we made it through and really had fun together. Dad comes home during his lunch breaks to visit us, so that breaks up the day nicely.

We've also gone on lots of outings…the doctor, the park, church, dad’s work, mom’s work, Midtown Coffee, the grocery store, the health department to get your birth certificate and couch shopping. Mostly you sleep through these adventures.

You've had a ton of visitors! Co-workers, grandparents, mom and dad’s friends from around town, and these two Tyler’s came all the way from Florida just to meet you.

Your dog Charley is really fond of you. Every time you cry, he comes running in the room where you are to see if you are alright!

Things you hate:

Hiccups (and you get them a lot!) That is your hiccup face!, diaper changes, changing clothes and baths!

Things you love:

Besides eating…it’s really just being close to mom and dad! In fact, you aren't really a fan of being in slings or rockers or bouncy seats…mostly just in our arms.

You do like your monkey rocker from Aunt Cherie and Aunt Lynn, though, and you get some good sleep in there!

You ALSO like, you discovered, hanging out in your parent’s bed. I can’t really blame you...it is comfy!

What your parents are feeling:

Something that a lot of people have told us is that we wouldn't understand love or happiness until we had a child. This isn't true. In fact, your dad and I believe that keeping our marriage strong is the most important thing we could ever do for our family. So yes, we were happy before you came in the world AND we are happy now that you are here with us! You add more love to our life and make me fall in love with your dad in a new way every day.

You've made our hearts mushy! I cry over things I never thought I’d cry about and worry about things I never knew I’d worry about (and the same goes for your dad…except the crying part). We over-read and research everything for fear of breaking you and doing this parenting thing all wrong, but as time goes on, I am getting more comfortable and confident in my instincts. I definitely find myself loving you more and more everyday (something your Grandma Lori says!)

Thanks for putting up with us first-timers for a whole month! Can’t wait to keep growing together!

Love, Mom

P.S. "Uncle" Nick Noble got you the COOLEST present. We hope you appreciate the reference one day :)

Tumblr Update

Hey internet,

I made an update-type post to my tumblr, on which I haven't been very active since Holli was about halfway through pregnancy. Anyhoo, if you're interested it's HERE.

It's mostly about comics and stuff.

Peace and love,

- Joseph

Obligatory newborn pictures post

We weren't planning on getting newborn pictures taken other than the ones we took ourselves. Our baby's godmother is a great photographer and is coming to visit sometime fairly soon, so she is going to take family photos for us. I THOUGHT that would suffice.

But, our hospital has a photographer that automatically comes in and takes pictures of your two-day old baby. Sneaky, sneaky. I got home, saw the gallery and of course, melted and HAD to order ALL of them. So, here's some pics of our two-day old son.

-Holli

#firstpost

Sup, y'all?

I'm Joseph, for those of you who don't know. Welcome to FaveBlog and welcome to my first post. For the most part, my posts will be novel-sized and possibly rambling and maybe even redundant. The subjects will most likely include family stuff, stories and whatnot, art/comics/drawing/etc., reviewing nerdy stuff, top 10 lists of all types, essay-type opinions and thoughts, and various tutorials (maybe?). I also wanna do a healthy amount of video posts from a yet-to-be created youtube account.

But, for now, I just wanted to get stuff up on this here website--specifically, stuff about my new son (mostly to appease my loved ones for whom this site was initially created). So, in case you haven't seen them, here is a compilation of #gabethebabe videos from my instagram:


MAN I love that guy. I'm also pretty excited about this blog and sharing and reflecting and stuff. Hope you are, too.

Peace and love,

- Joseph

Welcome to the world, baby boy!

We've talked about starting our family blog for a while now. It only seemed fitting to me that my first post be about the little guy that finally motivated us to do it!

Close to two weeks ago, Joseph and I were preparing to welcome the newest member of the Melancon clan into the world: Gabriel Louis. 

Specifically, we were doing this by attempting to deep clean our house, pack a hospital bag and chase away this pesky mouse that seems to lurk in and out of here at the most inconvenient times. 

As I introduce Gabriel to this blog, it seems fitting to start with the story of how he got here (NO, not THAT story!)…we'll just skip to his entrance into the world. (Don't worry, I'm not getting real graphic over here so you can keep reading). 

We woke up last Sunday morning casually around 10:30 a.m. I had noticed some slight pain that felt different from those Braxton Hicks "practice contractions" I'd been having, but since I've never had a child, I didn't get too excited. 

While we were up making breakfast, I jokingly asked Joseph if he felt like having a baby today. I also texted my sister-in-law (who's little one turned a year old on Gabriel's birthday) and told her I'd do my best to give her son a cousin for his birthday. Little did I know that would even be possible! I've heard the stories of how long labor can last, especially for a first time mom.

So that morning, as the contractions started to get to a level where I believed I was actually in early labor, I decided it was time for a distraction. (It was my goal to labor in the comfort of my home as long as possible, so I figured keeping busy would make that easier). That's when the cleaning began.

Around 5 or 6 that evening, the pain was getting a little more intense, and thinking that I may be laboring till the wee hours of the morning, I decided it was time to rest and maybe start actually timing these contractions and see if there was a pattern. 

I lounged in bed, downloaded a contraction-timing app and read a little Harry Potter 4. Then me and Joseph watched Blue Jasmine (good movie, though I must admit I didn't super pay attention to the whole thing). The pain started getting a little more intense, and I just kept trying to relax and do normal stuff (like straighten my hair…I was NOT about to go in labor looking crazy). 

After an hour of contractions that were about 3-5 minutes apart, I decided to call the midwife and let her know what was going on. When she talked to us on the phone, she said we sounded so calm that she didn't think I was actively in labor and told us we could probably spend another hour or so at home. 

We made it to about a half hour and decided it was time to go to the hospital. (Thank God we did that!)

We checked in St. Francis, and she told me I was 4-5 cm dilated and could stay and have that baby (woo-hoo!). About 10 minutes later, my water broke, I threw up on the floor and she was wheeling us into the Labor & Delivery room. 

At this point, the pain got really, REALLY real. All those relaxation techniques I'd used to keep myself calm went out the window, and I just kept telling Joseph to "help me" (whatever that means). Not even an hour later, I told the nurse the pressure was getting real intense, and she checked again…9 cm! 

She called the midwife to urge her to come a little faster, she walked in the room and literally asked if I was ready to have the baby. My whole active labor and transition phase only took 1 hour! 

Probably four or five pushes later (who was counting) Gabriel busted his way out in the world. 

Joseph said his mouth dropped open and I just stared around the room and didn't make eye contact with anyone for a while. I think it is safe to say we were both super in shock about how quickly everything went (um, and that we were PARENTS!) Joseph gave little 6 lb., 9 oz. Gabe-the-babe his first bath and I just hung out with a nursing staff who couldn't quit marveling over how quickly everything moved. 

I literally had to sign the consent forms for them to deliver my baby AFTER he was already in the world. We called our parents (who had last heard we were headed to the hospital...except my dear Dad who was definitely asleep and got the surprise the next day) and told them we were holding our new baby boy.

Joseph and I sat in our room, consumed an entire box of Triscuits and some M&Ms and attempted to digest how everything went even better than we had hoped it would. (And of course started at how freaking adorable baby Melancon is!) 

The next day, I felt like I could do anything. I just gave birth…NATURALLY!...Then, we fumbled our way through a week and a half of being parents and I wasn't so sure I was invincible anymore (in fact, I'm sure I'm not…but here we are giving this parenting thing the old college try!) Wish us luck!

-Holli